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Leadership: Do you give second chances?
July 14, 2023

“We all make mistakes, everybody should be given a second chance.” - Lailah Gifty Akita

I don’t agree that “everybody” deserves a second chance. Some acts are so egregious that forgiveness isn’t an option in my view. However, from a leadership perspective, many acts by employees are forgivable – and many more people deserve a subsequent opportunity than are afforded one.


I firmly believe that leadership is not easy. If it was, everyone would want to do it.


As a leader, I didn’t always get it right. At times I was too hard on people that made mistakes. Generally, not for accidental errors made by staff that were honestly trying their best, but more so for intentional acts that were done without any consideration for the impacts on others, and/or cases of pure stupidity.


But in other instances, I was unforgiving of some that disappointed me through their simple carelessness or perhaps because I just expected better from them. Occasionally, I was more charitable and gave second and even third chances to those that I liked personally. At other times I over-reacted and then held long-time bad feelings for folks that maybe were good employees overall but just weren’t my cup of tea on a personal level. When you don’t particularly care for an individual, it can be much easier to find fault in things they do, when the reality of the matter is that they may be hard workers that do things perfectly right.


Was that fair on my part? On reflection, in some situations, it was not. For leaders, fairness is extremely important and although I constantly preach that leaders need to be able to distinguish ‘error from malice’ and dole out any reprimands accordingly. But sadly, I didn’t always live up to my own adage. I regret that I failed some I have led by judging and reacting unfairly to their perceived transgression.

“These men ask for just the same thing, fairness, and fairness only. This, so far as in my power, they, and all others, shall have.” - Abraham Lincoln


I was recently watching the final season of Apple TV’s series, Ted Lasso, as Ted pondered whether to hire back a previous coach that had turned on him. He then said the following:


“I hope that all of us, or none of us are judged by the actions of our weakest moments but rather by the strength we show when or if we are given a second chance. If you were judged by your actions in your weakest moments, would you have cause to be trepidatious?”


His statement really resonated with me.


I recall specific instances when I stopped supporting some colleagues and friends that I felt had wronged me. Sometimes it was based on what others told me these folks had done or said. I now know that in at least a few of those cases what I had been told was untrue, but I had opted to believe someone I trusted that was in fact trying to hurt others while trying to better position themselves in my eyes. In hindsight, I undoubtedly made some poor decisions that subsequently unjustly impacted careers and relationships in a negative way. I’m sure that led to a breakdown in trust in me as a leader among those that were wronged. Some deserved the second chance I mistakenly didn’t offer them.


Renowned leadership author and speaker Robin Sharma said: “Forgiveness isn't approving what happened. It's choosing to rise above it.”


I didn’t do that often enough and to those that I hurt through my failures – I apologize. I wish I could have a second chance to do better myself, but unfortunately life is not that easy.


“Having a second chance makes you want to work even harder.” -

Tia Mowry

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Leadership is inundated with risk, every hour of every day, in all sectors. In policing, legislative authorities and established policy are the ever-present guideposts, but occasionally policy just doesn’t apply. At times someone has to just make a decision to do something, or not, or they will fail the public they serve and the personnel it is their duty to lead. If it goes bad, time to own up, do damage control, learn from it and move forward. It always frightened me when I saw some at the senior executive level in policing think that supervisors and managers operate in a pristine little bubble where nothing should ever go wrong. Then when it did because some supervisor tried their best to make something work for all the right reasons, they wanted to pigeon-hole the person that took the risk. There were times during my own career when executives were not encouraged to take any risk either. In fact, taking risk was career risk in itself. Despite the best of intentions, if it went bad, the one ‘responsible’ be forever labelled as having failed. Even if the gamble went well, the jaundiced eyes from above would still forever look at them as being a potential liability. It became the “Oh, him. He’s the one that...” At times the daily decision making of high-level commanders would be second-guessed by those in the executive suites – some of whom had never really commanded anything. My buddy retired Chief Wayne Frechette used to describe these folks as: “They’ve never been out after dark on company time.” I know this same concept was alive in many other police services. Some at executive levels actually did serve in operational roles at some point but they never took a risk. Somehow, they were fortunate to skate through difficult situations through sheer luck as opposed to good decision-making and never developed any scar tissue along the way. They didn’t learn from failure – they survived by luck. They also were viewed by weak executives above them as being golden because there was never a milli-second of negativity around them. They were Teflon. But those that worked under their “command” (for lack of a better word) had no respect for them. They simply watched them walk around with coffee in hand, never leaving the office or making a decision. It wasn’t leadership, but it did pave the way to stardom from on high, for some. True leaders do take risks at times. Many I worked with and for did it all and did it well. They did so in the best interests of those they served and those they led, because it wasn’t about themselves, but was done in the service of those that placed their trust in them. Policy simply doesn’t fit every situation. It is most often a guide that anticipates most circumstances that employees will face, particularly the more common (high-frequency) ones. But it cannot predict every possible scenario. When that happens in policing, it can occur in very unlikely situations (low-frequency) that are incredibly high-risk. Supervisors cannot say “Sorry folks, the book doesn’t cover this one” and run away crying. They also don’t have time to tell bad guys, “Hey big fella, sit tight. We need to take a pause here and get the whiteboard out so we can have a group-think about how to stop your murderous rampage.” I think that many pseudo-leaders – far too many, are afraid to make risky decisions out of fear that an error will jeopardize their career. Instead, they risk their careers by not making decisions. Or as I like to say: “their fear of career-risk, risks their careers.” This can be fatal in the policing world. When a police supervisor shirks their responsibilities or quivers, sucks their thumb, and prays for the situation to go away, thankfully constables will come forward and do their best to get their teammates through it. Sometimes that ends well and when the supervisor emerges from their fear-induced coma, they will more often than not take credit for the success. But when the situation goes to hell-in-a-handbasket – despite best efforts, the pseudo-leader will document the risk-taking employee and add another bullet-point to their list of things they’ve done to “hold people accountable.” The panel at their next promotional interview will likely hear the false rendition proudly told. I hear examples of this practise from serving police officers across North America on a much too frequent basis. True leaders develop a culture of trust among those they lead that their suggestions and feedback are encouraged and valued. Their confidence that the leader wants their input encourages them to constantly analyze situations and give thought to what policy says and the options available when policy says nothing. 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